Back again

I haven't blogged much this summer. I really enjoy reading others who have, kind of like a mini Christmas card long before Christmas. Probably why I like Facebook so much, too, just to hear what is going on with others.

I have to admit. I have been sad a lot lately. Mainly because nothing seems to go the way I really hope it will. Granted, I know there is a divine plan for each of us, but I wish it would reveal itself to me. If you ask my parents how I am doing, they would probably tell you they feel I have relapsed big time, as in back to square one from 9 years ago. Lovely, eh?

So, it is August. I am still between jobs, still struggling to make the bills, still floundering. I don't play the lottery (although that sounds pretty good right about now), maybe I should. I am struggling as it is hard to sell yourself to potential employers when you are feeling not so great.

I spend a LOT of time giving myself and my stuff away. I may not have money, but I am not opposed to giving you the shirt off of my back if you need it more than I do. I feel for the people who are struggling, the homeless people on the corner, the children who are starving, an economy that has everyone actually praying. Along with the lack of rain which also has everyone praying.

I know we are here for a short season, but while we are here, and before we die, what is the purpose? I am having a hard time finding the nitche, the sweet spot I need to be living in. Don't get me wrong, I believe in a God who has the best for us, I believe God has good things, I believe that God is the reason you get through bad times, in fact, God got me through 12 years of prison..without my faith in a higher power, a hope, I wouldn't have made it.

I am angry, tired, and worried about my situation. It won't change unless I change it, or change something..just figuring out what that is.

I love that my time is flexible and I can help out where needed with volunteering. It helps when you have a project you can throw yourself into.

So, it is August. I am trusting that something good is coming, and praying for the answer. Praying for peace to stay the course. Praying for the big reveal to come soon. Thankful for friends and family, and parents who continue to stick with me despite how bad it seems. God is good. Always.

I have a song playing in my head that seems so appropriate for me right now..goes like this. (It is 30 years old, but seems so appropriate for the times.)

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer.

Sara